Friday, September 29, 2006

Stinking SMel of Humour

As friends know, I generally hate manufactured comedy - TV shows, films, and books.

True there are exceptions, I loved the BlackAdder series, especially the Tudor one. Four Wedddings and Funeral was brilliant, as was the under-rated Fever Pitch. I generally hate American "comedy" most of all but When Harry Met Sally had its moments.

As for books, well I've read and enjoyed Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas at least seven times.

But really I don't know why anyone really bothers with "jokes" and canned laughter because when it comes to piss yourself laughing comedy, there's no substitue for real life. Case in point, the latest column by the Princess of British comedy, Mad (s)Mel Philips.

Here's one of her latest gems:

[blah blah blah is a] terrifying indication of the extreme inadequacy of Her Majesty’s Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs at this most critical juncture in world history.

What? We're living at the most critical juncture in world history?!?

OK, OK, she didn't quite say that, she said this most critical juncture in world history.

Now it's well known that Mel is mad, particularly on the subject of Is-rul and Eye-rabs, but lets just review a few "most critical" junctures of world history shall we?

Then think back to the events of this year, or even the past few years, and you can judge for yourselves...

Let's start with an obvious one, Hitlers annexation of the remnants of the democratic and entirely Western Czechoslovakia on March 15th 1939. Hummmmm pretty critical time I'd say.

Or how about the probe by the Wehrmacht's 258th Infantry Division into the outskirts of Moscow on the afternoon of the 2nd of December 1941? Scary stuff!

Or going back even further what about the 15th October 1529 when of the Turkish seige of Vienna came close to victory? No worries, we'd have fought them on the beaches.

Or how about the events of August 2nd 216 BC when Rome was defeated by Carthage at Cannae and it seemed the Empire was all but finished? Might be time to evacuate the villa, Caprasia!

The list goes on - I've not even mentioned technology such as Johannes Gutenberg's printing press invented sometime around 1450, or Karl Benz's patented internal combustion engine of 1879 or the Wright Brothers on December the 17th 1903, or even the invention of sliced bread allegedly on July 7th 1928.

Good old (s)Mel. Not only does she know sod all about science, or wilfully misunderstands it, she's now proven beyond doubt she knows fuck all about history either...

Credit where credit's due though, she is a comedic genius!


Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Daydreaming of Sri Lanka

Have just spent a nice hour editing a few pages of a holiday brouchure for an old friend I met in Paris in the early 1990s.
She's gone on to have a good career in the travel industry.

The brouchure didn't need much doing to it, and is a fine piece of work, because it has worked; I've been day-dreaming about temples and tea plantations and elephant reservations and thinking - what an amazing holiday that would be...

It doesn't take much to set off day-dreams on long slow afternoons 'resting' between contracts.